Roller Coaster....!

Hmmm, yeah, I wish I meant at Cedar Point!! Even before I was pregnant, I stated that moms deserve more than one Mother's Day. I am now beginning to see that dads could use more than one Father's Day!! This is just pre-baby stuff!! If you know me well, you know that I am already full of emotion. I have now became a massive roller coaster of emotion!! I am trying to keep it in check--man, is it hard!! The other day, I was so mad because some annoying driver cut me off, but then i put on some Christian music to put me in a more peaceful place, and it began to work. I was then behind a super-slow driver, making me angry again, after which this song on the radio said the line "A woman with a baby on her hip puts color on her lips..." and I started crying!! Dying to know how the rest of this pregnancy is going to go!! :)
Despite everything, I am the happiest woman alive right now. I didn't even think this would be possible!! I am 2 months and 1 week along, feeling waves of nausea but nothing too bad at this point, grateful everyday for the life that is inside me :)
I look forward to all the help I will receive--after which I will call my mom to say "Is this true or is this more of that useless scary information that people make themselves crazy over from the internet?" and she will help me :) Love you Mom!!
Nurses and doctors have told me not to read too much on the internet unless it's from medical-based sites because people have every scary symptom that exists and go nuts :) I will, however, enjoy on a deeper level the previous posts of my cousins and sister regarding their wonderful ideas with babies and their fun cake/party adventures and see what inspires me as a mom :) Can you tell I'm excited?!? Bryan is beside himself as well :)

Love to all!!! Thanks to all the great moms and dads out there for loving your babies and dedicating your lives--not just 9 months and however long labor lasted--to your babies!! That is truly God's work :) There are too many moms and dads who do not cherish their children, and I am glad that the parents in my family have devoted everything to raising their children :)

Foo Fighters came to PA!! :)

Bryan and I had a great time at the Foo Fighters concert!! :) It's not just that the band is so fantastic :) We have a special history, since the most romantic concert I ever went to was when Bryan and I saw the Foo Fighters at Memphis in May, and we were caught in the rain, and the only way we could stay warm was to hold each other in the rain :) The music was as amazing Friday night as it was on that cold, rainy evening in May :) My respect grew for them that night because it was pouring rain, and some of the bands, being at an outdoor facility, played shorter sets. The Foo Fighters played for a full 2 hours, but they put up extra tarps to protect their equipment! That is dedication :) Recently, my respect for them grew more, especially for Dave Grohl, the lead singer of the Foo Fighters. He is truly a family man. He loves his mother, and he loves his wife and kid :)He wrote his second to last album for his daughter, Violet!
They are amazing performers. I am so glad I went!! I know that not everybody who reads this blog knows or loves the Foo Fighters, but I had to put it up since a) it was AWESOME, and b) I had done an earlier post, complaining about the Foo Fighters not coming to Pittsburgh anytime soon :) They came, and the show was fantastic!!! :)

Close-up picture was taken from a website, NOT by me :) Really wish I could have been close enough to get that picture!!

Lately :)

Hello! :)
I've recently decided that I no longer want to be a residential therapist. Being a residential therapist includes tasks that I no longer want to do. I once thought that being a residential therapist meant that I would have almost all my time to devote to therapy, but there are many aspects of residential that I look forward to leaving--going to court to testify for residents, not being able to do therapy in the moment because the resident is at a doctor's appointment, and completing mediations between residents and staff with whom they do not get along, to name a few. I hope to start working with a place where I can do individual and still family therapy, but it will be nice to work at an office, in which they can meet me instead of me waking them up and saying, "it's time for therapy." I do not regret the experience I have had--all of it has been beneficial to a degree. I do realize, however, that I am ready to move to new experience. To that end, I had an interview today with a member of a Christian organization, and it was refreshing to have this interview since I have been working in a secular location. The interviewer was very kind and passionate about serving God through therapy. I will have to be licensed to work for her, since I have to be licensed to be credentialed, in order to work with insurance companies. I will therefore stay at MHY at least until I am licensed, after which I can work at this other organization or another one like it. Today had a great start for that reason :) I then went home and relaxed until Bryan got home, which was when Bryan and I went shopping! We found some great clothes for him--he will look so good in them!! We also got me shoes. :) We then went to BRGR for dinner. BRGR is the best hamburger place ever :) This restaurant features gourmet burgers. Bryan ordered one that had pepperjack cheese, spicy saracha dip, and Bryan added an egg on it. I ordered one that had caramelized onions and creamy thousand island dressing. Bryan and I tasted each other's burgers and decided we needed to split them, they were so good. We also had parmesan fries and onion rings!! It was a great end to a great day :) Come see us and we will go there for dinner sometime :)
What's Bryan up to these days? He has started his Master's in Food Science, and he is enjoying it so far :) He says it's challenging but knows it's worth it. I am so proud of him for working so hard for this!! What really stinks is that he still travels a lot for work; however, he recently interviewed and hired someone to work in Allentown--where the factory is where he has to monitor production occasionally and had to be there a LOT this past month--so he will have to go less!! Very excited about this. It's hard to be away from him too long!!
Love to all! K

We're home!!

Man, Bryan and I love our new place :)
It has more room so we're not constantly on top of each other, which is good since he'll be studying and doing schoolwork--yea for Bryan!! We love our new neighborhood, and people are amazing over here. We've already met a few of our neighbors, and they are really nice. I actually met one neighbor when i was at the bank, changing our address. I told her my new address, and she smiled at me and said, "You're my neighbor!"
Any way, we have gotten organized and are very excited :) Come see us! We would love to have you :)
Hosted book club for the first time tonight, and it was also my first time to entertain here. Bryan helped me pick out the cheeses for the cheese plate, and the best cheese we got--still munching on it with olive oil crostini!!!--is the Triple Creme Saint Angel cheese, which is AMAZING. The ladies had an excellent time talking about the book we read--"Bossypants" by Tina Fey. Although I did not agree with all parts of the book, I enjoyed the sarcasm :) I also loved the quote about improv-- "there are no mistakes, only opportunities"--and I was happy to apply it to other facets of life :)

Here are some pictures of the place :) Love to all!!

Happy Anniversary!!!

It's our 7th anniversary tomorrow, 8/14/11!! :) I put this up today because we are celebrating today and tomorrow :) 7 is extra special so we can celebrate twice. :) Tonight, we are going out to dinner, and tomorrow may or may not be Kennywood, a cute little amusement park that has sentimental value in Pittsburgh :) It has 3 awesome rides to Six Flags' 10, but it is so much fun!! Bryan's been ever since he was a kid, and I've fallen in love with it too!! I say may or may not because when i was in Zumba this morning, my calf started hurting like crazy, and I've been resting it most of the day. I had to favor it in order to finish the class! Oh well :) Still very happy about this weekend and how nice it has been.

This wedding picture is our favorite--encompasses so much of the happiness we have had together!! It's been quite a whirlwind of a marriage, but there is nobody else with whom I'd rather be swept!! What a great man :)

May God bless all our marriages in the hope that we inspire others to be dedicated to their spouses :)
Love to all! K

Update :)

Hello, it's Kristi, your friendly neighborhood therapist :)
This month, Bryan and i are moving to a new apartment, bigger for the same amount of rent--yea! :) he also starts school next month, after which he will have his food science degree. We are very happy that he was accepted and also very happy about the upturn his career will have after he gets his masters :) I am so proud of him!! Man, he is a good man. So blessed to have him in my life :)
This summer has been filled with good memories and painful ones, but Bryan and I continue to remember that God is good. It has been difficult, and yet our loved ones have surrounded us and lifted us up, and we appreciate that a great deal. Our friends here have also been supportive.
for those who do not know, my job has been extra stressful lately. I am a therapist who should have only 8 kids max; however, when another therapist took leave out of nowhere and was gone for two months, my caseload became 12 overnight. that was SUPER difficult!! I needed extra strength and prayers and patience, and people who saw me as "Happy Kristi" were shocked that i could be so stressed. After the therapist came back, I had a week of bliss. Yes, a week, since the following Tuesday, I read an e-mail in which the first line read that the therapist had resigned effective immediately. Once again "happy kristi" freaked out and was afraid to have 12 again. Luckily, the supervisor helped with the redistribution, and although i do have 11 again, and it is a very difficult caseload, at least we are not holding the other therapist's job this time, and we have already begun the search for a new therapist. yea!! This therapist is happy about that :)
Again, no pictures, but know that Bryan and i are again in a more peaceful place now that some of the stress has been lifted. We continue to appreciate prayers for peace and patience, and we love you and hope to see you soon :)

Love and miss,
K

Connections

One of my kids reminded me the other day why I'm a therapist--making connections with people :) I love people. In therapy, i get to meet a ton of people, some of with whomI get to form a special bond. I was reminded of such a bond on Thursday night. I was talking with one of my kids, and when she was talking, i was completing her sentences. I knew what she meant, and I could tell she was glad that i knew what she meant. I get excited to form relationships with people. I wish that therapy was only that; however, we do paperwork, which takes an emotional incident and turns it into data, statistics, reports--totally impersonal. It takes special kids to remind us of how being therapists renews hope, love, and hopefully, trust! God has blessed me to connect with some...not all!!...of the kids with whom i work. I wish i could with everybody, but some are just too damaged. Trauma is dangerous, in that it takes perfectly good people and can mess them up forever. People can learn about themselves and their trauma and learn how to have healthy attachments. I am so grateful that the people in my life who raised me, not just my parents, but aunts, uncles, grandparents, teachers, and friends, have loved me and connected with me, teaching me that making connections is important. God bless the people who read this post. I love you and know that you make positive connections with others!! Thank you for doing HIS work!!!!
love and miss, K! :)

Does not take it away... :)

I heard a really positive message from my preacher the other day :) I was upset and frustrated and crying with my preacher. I was telling him about the things in life that are so stressful. I was telling him how sometimes i was angry with God for things I do not have... real blessings which I specifically do not understand. I have been hurting and frustrated. One thing my preacher said to me, after listening empathically of course...!...was in response to my anger with God. "The fact that (blank) has not been given does not take away what God did for us." he actually did not say that while I was crying--he said it in a sermon the following week. He is good at saying things that touch me personally, connecting me more closely to my God. I'm sure my readers have noticed that this blog is shy of something that is seen in most blogs--pictures of couples with their babies. I am finally sharing this with you, my readers. It has been difficult for us to conceive. I finally became pregnant and lost him a week later. For whatever reason, it is not God's will for us to have a baby at this time. I don't know if we will or not. It's heart-revealing enough that I am sharing this, and I have kept from sharing it because I never wanted to be "that couple." That being said, I ask that the only comments made on this particular post are silent prayers. I already know you are praying for us. You're our family, and we love you :) It would just be too hard to see a comment such as "Don't worry, you'll get there," or "maybe this is what you could do." This is part of the pain, though well-intentioned, that Bryan and I have encountered. I am finally sharing my story because I want you to know that while going through this, I am grateful that i was raised to love God and that Bryan and I are supported and loved by our preacher and the few (now more)that we have chosen to tell.
We love you and thank you for reading, and I hope to do a happier post next time. ultimately, this is a happy post, since despite the pain, we know that it is only temporary :)
Love you!!

Ch-ch-changes... :)

I suppose the biggest change is two posts in three days...wow :) Hee hee!

Bryan got into Grad School!! We are so excited for him!! He is going to get his Food Science Degree at Kansas State--online, so we don't have to move--but it is a very good program for this degree! He is going to do so well...I'm so proud of him :) We found out today!!

Hmm, that's all that's really changed :) I love so many things that have stayed the same though!! I've really enjoyed being in Searcy and driving around all the old places I used to go. It's almost surreal to go back to my old gym and do my old classes with some of the same instructors. Dance Aerobics was just as wonderful as I remembered :)

Kinda happy that nothing else is different at this time :) People are still greeted with the "Harding Heyyyyy"--Hardingites should know what I mean... :) Singing at church here is still amazing and uplifting. I drove to the post office in Searcy almost with muscle memory, but in the interest of saving time, I googled "Searcy Post Office", and I had driven to West Academy, just on the opposite side :) That was fun!

What's also special is that there are still not really strangers in Searcy. I can have a conversation with anybody I don't know and not feel weird or that I've invaded their personal space because they do the same to me! Pittsburghers are nice--don't get me wrong--but you don't always talk to people you don't know :)

Any English teacher would not be a fan of this particular post because of its poorly written structure and lack of organization. At this point, I mention loving another thing that has not changed--family who reads and loves it for being mine :)

Man, I'm blessed :) Love to all!! K

Home... :)

I love being here!! I love being welcomed by my mom and her hubby. I love how she made a custard pie for me (and her, but mostly for me...) I love how she fills the fridge with Diet Dr. Pepper and buys liquid creamer because I love it. I love how she hugs and kisses me and I hug and kiss her as greetings :) I love how she makes sure that we are as comfortable as possible, even though she raised me to be gracious when free room and board are provided. I love how she and I ride in the car together and have some of the same conversations we have had over the phone but they mean so much more in person because we are there to see--not just guess--each other's reactions. I love how she welcomes Bryan just as much as me because she loves us both enough to do that. I love how being an extension of her makes me an extension of my grandmother, and that makes me special. I love sitting with her, my Mamaw, and my aunts at the farm and having the most real conversations, with coconut pie and chocolate chip cookies and Diet Dr. Pepper in the midst. I love how I know the back way to my house after getting on to Race street and decide instead to drive the length of Race street, just in case I drive by somebody I know. I love how my mother knows me just well enough to suggest that I tear tickets at tonight's Spring Sing performance because I will get to see more Harding-ites that way.
Thank you God for all these things that I love!!

Mumford and Sons--"It's not the long road home that will change my heart but the welcome I receive with every start" :)

Love to all!
K :)

Choices

We all have them :) I learn everyday how choices affect other people and circumstances. One thing that my internship drilled into me is that people have choices and make them. One thing that we drill into our kids--as parents, as therapists, as teachers--is that we all make choices, and the only thing we can control is our part. I've been thinking a lot about choices lately :)
One choice I made was to be a Christian. I re-choose it daily, maybe not every minute or even hour, some days, but I am constantly re-choosing to be a Christian and re-dedicate my life to God. Maybe a better wording is that I am constantly re-choosing to be a Christian, but that I make mistakes...hmm :)
Another choice I made was to marry Bryan, although we made that choice together. So glad we did!! It will be 7 years in August!!
A third choice I made was to be a therapist. I love it in so many ways. One way I love it is when my kids say, "Oh..." and finally get it for themselves and internalize it. I love when they switch from "Whatever Miss Kristi" to "Oh, if I do this, then I will do this..." and it's positive :)
Sometimes, we make choices and reevaluate them. Sometimes I become afraid and reevaluate being a therapist. Sometimes I wish I had a job that was like a formula (a+b=c) example: I do this, they do that, and we all get what we want. :) When I was a waitress, I brought food, they paid me and were full, I brought money home. :) When I was an instructor at the Y--although that was short-lived!!--I taught my class, they paid and received a service, I brought money home. As a therapist, just because I do my job right does not mean that my kids will do what they need to do. It ultimately comes down to choices.
Hmmm...God always gives perfect service and we do not always choose to follow HIM. Do you think He ever gets frustrated with us?
At any rate, I'm glad you chose to read my thoughts over the past week. If you know my number and want to hear the details, call me...it was a crazy week and involved several choices. I'll bullet point it. Kids made choices. Therapist got worried and dealt with feelings of disappointment. The therapist ultimately decided that she will have to constantly remind herself that she can only go so far but is doing the best she can. The therapist decided to focus on it in supervision. The therapist was glad for some clarity.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
the courage to change the things I can
and the wisdom to know the difference :)

God's peace and love, K

Peace :)

Peace is so wonderful, isn't it? I love it, and sometimes, when I think about it, I pray for it. I prayed for it the other day, when I was anxious about Court and having everything prepared for it. Typically, I am on top of my game for Court. I set a reminder on my work calendar so I start a Court summary on a certain date. This ensures that I will get it done in enough time to have my supervisor read it and sign it so I can send it to the Probation Officer or Caseworker in time for Court, or at least 10 days prior to Court. I have the directions printed off, left on top of my Court summary, next to my computer at the end of the day prior to Court. This ensures that I will show up in time to get a Mars Home for Youth car, swing by my office and get the summary, swing by the unit to pick up "my" kid, and make it to Court at least 15 minutes early (guaranteeing that we will be called an hour after Court is supposed to begin.) :) Hmm, I just realized I said "ensures" twice--the only thing of which I am certain is God and His values--peace, mercy, love, forgiveness, etc...well, I digress.

At any rate, Wednesday (the day before Court) I still had not been able to get my supervisor to read and sign my report. My fault, since I had forgotten to write the thing until the Tuesday before Court!! What could I do? First, I texted my supervisor and asked if she could skim it Thursday morning so that it was approved. Second, I prayed to God for peace. He gave it to me :) Yes, I did what I needed to do, but I can do everything right and not have peace if I forget to ask for it!!

Luckily for me, I have gotten MUCH better at writing these summaries, and my supervisor read it and signed it Thursday morning, after she stated that it was a great summary and demonstrated a great usage of language!! How fun :) I didn't think it would be bad or anything--it's just nice when I get absolutely no corrections :)

I have also prayed for peace regarding several transitions that have occurred at work. We are also getting accredited for Sanctuary, which is known throughout Pennsylvania, but I don't know how many other states features it. Sanctuary is all about the language we use with therapy, and it centers on trauma and how when we do therapy, we should use this basic premise--"It's not what's wrong with us, it's what's happened to us." It encourages us to empathize with our clients and meet them where they are, not pushing them to be where they should be. It also helps us encourage our workmates and find ways to take care of ourselves. In the interest of Sanctuary, we started a CARES (Colleagues Assist Reassure Encourage Sanctuary) Committee, in which we encourage our staff when they have been in difficult situations (restraints/spat on/hit) with clients, if they are having personal problems, and/or just need a word of encouragement. My supervisor thought of me for this committee, and I love it!! In a period of 3 months, we have encouraged at least 25 people. Guess what--I also sneak God in there! It's not a Christian group, per se, but whenever I end the notes that I send, I write "God's peace and love," Through this committee, I am able to encourage, and it feels good.

Well, anyway, that's some of the things that have been going on in my life :) So much of my life is spent at work, and it touches my heart in a huge way, so that's why I thought I'd blog about the peace of God and how it helps me with work :)

Love to all!!

For Mamaw :)

Okay, so i am doing this for one person only--Mamaw :) I was on the phone with my beloved grandmother, and we talked about blogs and the fact that I had not posted in a long time. I mentioned that nobody looked at my blog by this point anymore, since I had not posted in forever, and she said, "Your grandmother does!" I then told her that I would post something. Here goes...I'm so out of practice... :)
Life is summed up with God, Bryan, family, friends, work, and church. Life is busy and crazy, but I love it. I think if I were not busy, I would not know how to handle it :) I am so used to being on the go that when I have too much free time, I go nuts! I like to laze every once in a while, but life is mostly about staying active.
Bryan and I are happy and love each other more with each passing year. We will have been married 7 years in August!! I am so blessed to have him in my life. I thank God for him everyday. We like to hang out with Bryan's family when we're in Pittsburgh, but we love getting to visit Arkansas to see my family. We will go to AR for Easter!! Yea!! Do we want children? Definitely. We're working on it :)
In the meantime, I don't blog much because I don't really have that much to blog about that I can't cover on facebook :0) I just wish everybody were on facebook--hint, hint, Deborah :)
Love you!! Hope to see you soon!!