Connections

One of my kids reminded me the other day why I'm a therapist--making connections with people :) I love people. In therapy, i get to meet a ton of people, some of with whomI get to form a special bond. I was reminded of such a bond on Thursday night. I was talking with one of my kids, and when she was talking, i was completing her sentences. I knew what she meant, and I could tell she was glad that i knew what she meant. I get excited to form relationships with people. I wish that therapy was only that; however, we do paperwork, which takes an emotional incident and turns it into data, statistics, reports--totally impersonal. It takes special kids to remind us of how being therapists renews hope, love, and hopefully, trust! God has blessed me to connect with some...not all!!...of the kids with whom i work. I wish i could with everybody, but some are just too damaged. Trauma is dangerous, in that it takes perfectly good people and can mess them up forever. People can learn about themselves and their trauma and learn how to have healthy attachments. I am so grateful that the people in my life who raised me, not just my parents, but aunts, uncles, grandparents, teachers, and friends, have loved me and connected with me, teaching me that making connections is important. God bless the people who read this post. I love you and know that you make positive connections with others!! Thank you for doing HIS work!!!!
love and miss, K! :)

Does not take it away... :)

I heard a really positive message from my preacher the other day :) I was upset and frustrated and crying with my preacher. I was telling him about the things in life that are so stressful. I was telling him how sometimes i was angry with God for things I do not have... real blessings which I specifically do not understand. I have been hurting and frustrated. One thing my preacher said to me, after listening empathically of course...!...was in response to my anger with God. "The fact that (blank) has not been given does not take away what God did for us." he actually did not say that while I was crying--he said it in a sermon the following week. He is good at saying things that touch me personally, connecting me more closely to my God. I'm sure my readers have noticed that this blog is shy of something that is seen in most blogs--pictures of couples with their babies. I am finally sharing this with you, my readers. It has been difficult for us to conceive. I finally became pregnant and lost him a week later. For whatever reason, it is not God's will for us to have a baby at this time. I don't know if we will or not. It's heart-revealing enough that I am sharing this, and I have kept from sharing it because I never wanted to be "that couple." That being said, I ask that the only comments made on this particular post are silent prayers. I already know you are praying for us. You're our family, and we love you :) It would just be too hard to see a comment such as "Don't worry, you'll get there," or "maybe this is what you could do." This is part of the pain, though well-intentioned, that Bryan and I have encountered. I am finally sharing my story because I want you to know that while going through this, I am grateful that i was raised to love God and that Bryan and I are supported and loved by our preacher and the few (now more)that we have chosen to tell.
We love you and thank you for reading, and I hope to do a happier post next time. ultimately, this is a happy post, since despite the pain, we know that it is only temporary :)
Love you!!

Ch-ch-changes... :)

I suppose the biggest change is two posts in three days...wow :) Hee hee!

Bryan got into Grad School!! We are so excited for him!! He is going to get his Food Science Degree at Kansas State--online, so we don't have to move--but it is a very good program for this degree! He is going to do so well...I'm so proud of him :) We found out today!!

Hmm, that's all that's really changed :) I love so many things that have stayed the same though!! I've really enjoyed being in Searcy and driving around all the old places I used to go. It's almost surreal to go back to my old gym and do my old classes with some of the same instructors. Dance Aerobics was just as wonderful as I remembered :)

Kinda happy that nothing else is different at this time :) People are still greeted with the "Harding Heyyyyy"--Hardingites should know what I mean... :) Singing at church here is still amazing and uplifting. I drove to the post office in Searcy almost with muscle memory, but in the interest of saving time, I googled "Searcy Post Office", and I had driven to West Academy, just on the opposite side :) That was fun!

What's also special is that there are still not really strangers in Searcy. I can have a conversation with anybody I don't know and not feel weird or that I've invaded their personal space because they do the same to me! Pittsburghers are nice--don't get me wrong--but you don't always talk to people you don't know :)

Any English teacher would not be a fan of this particular post because of its poorly written structure and lack of organization. At this point, I mention loving another thing that has not changed--family who reads and loves it for being mine :)

Man, I'm blessed :) Love to all!! K

Home... :)

I love being here!! I love being welcomed by my mom and her hubby. I love how she made a custard pie for me (and her, but mostly for me...) I love how she fills the fridge with Diet Dr. Pepper and buys liquid creamer because I love it. I love how she hugs and kisses me and I hug and kiss her as greetings :) I love how she makes sure that we are as comfortable as possible, even though she raised me to be gracious when free room and board are provided. I love how she and I ride in the car together and have some of the same conversations we have had over the phone but they mean so much more in person because we are there to see--not just guess--each other's reactions. I love how she welcomes Bryan just as much as me because she loves us both enough to do that. I love how being an extension of her makes me an extension of my grandmother, and that makes me special. I love sitting with her, my Mamaw, and my aunts at the farm and having the most real conversations, with coconut pie and chocolate chip cookies and Diet Dr. Pepper in the midst. I love how I know the back way to my house after getting on to Race street and decide instead to drive the length of Race street, just in case I drive by somebody I know. I love how my mother knows me just well enough to suggest that I tear tickets at tonight's Spring Sing performance because I will get to see more Harding-ites that way.
Thank you God for all these things that I love!!

Mumford and Sons--"It's not the long road home that will change my heart but the welcome I receive with every start" :)

Love to all!
K :)

Choices

We all have them :) I learn everyday how choices affect other people and circumstances. One thing that my internship drilled into me is that people have choices and make them. One thing that we drill into our kids--as parents, as therapists, as teachers--is that we all make choices, and the only thing we can control is our part. I've been thinking a lot about choices lately :)
One choice I made was to be a Christian. I re-choose it daily, maybe not every minute or even hour, some days, but I am constantly re-choosing to be a Christian and re-dedicate my life to God. Maybe a better wording is that I am constantly re-choosing to be a Christian, but that I make mistakes...hmm :)
Another choice I made was to marry Bryan, although we made that choice together. So glad we did!! It will be 7 years in August!!
A third choice I made was to be a therapist. I love it in so many ways. One way I love it is when my kids say, "Oh..." and finally get it for themselves and internalize it. I love when they switch from "Whatever Miss Kristi" to "Oh, if I do this, then I will do this..." and it's positive :)
Sometimes, we make choices and reevaluate them. Sometimes I become afraid and reevaluate being a therapist. Sometimes I wish I had a job that was like a formula (a+b=c) example: I do this, they do that, and we all get what we want. :) When I was a waitress, I brought food, they paid me and were full, I brought money home. :) When I was an instructor at the Y--although that was short-lived!!--I taught my class, they paid and received a service, I brought money home. As a therapist, just because I do my job right does not mean that my kids will do what they need to do. It ultimately comes down to choices.
Hmmm...God always gives perfect service and we do not always choose to follow HIM. Do you think He ever gets frustrated with us?
At any rate, I'm glad you chose to read my thoughts over the past week. If you know my number and want to hear the details, call me...it was a crazy week and involved several choices. I'll bullet point it. Kids made choices. Therapist got worried and dealt with feelings of disappointment. The therapist ultimately decided that she will have to constantly remind herself that she can only go so far but is doing the best she can. The therapist decided to focus on it in supervision. The therapist was glad for some clarity.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
the courage to change the things I can
and the wisdom to know the difference :)

God's peace and love, K

Peace :)

Peace is so wonderful, isn't it? I love it, and sometimes, when I think about it, I pray for it. I prayed for it the other day, when I was anxious about Court and having everything prepared for it. Typically, I am on top of my game for Court. I set a reminder on my work calendar so I start a Court summary on a certain date. This ensures that I will get it done in enough time to have my supervisor read it and sign it so I can send it to the Probation Officer or Caseworker in time for Court, or at least 10 days prior to Court. I have the directions printed off, left on top of my Court summary, next to my computer at the end of the day prior to Court. This ensures that I will show up in time to get a Mars Home for Youth car, swing by my office and get the summary, swing by the unit to pick up "my" kid, and make it to Court at least 15 minutes early (guaranteeing that we will be called an hour after Court is supposed to begin.) :) Hmm, I just realized I said "ensures" twice--the only thing of which I am certain is God and His values--peace, mercy, love, forgiveness, etc...well, I digress.

At any rate, Wednesday (the day before Court) I still had not been able to get my supervisor to read and sign my report. My fault, since I had forgotten to write the thing until the Tuesday before Court!! What could I do? First, I texted my supervisor and asked if she could skim it Thursday morning so that it was approved. Second, I prayed to God for peace. He gave it to me :) Yes, I did what I needed to do, but I can do everything right and not have peace if I forget to ask for it!!

Luckily for me, I have gotten MUCH better at writing these summaries, and my supervisor read it and signed it Thursday morning, after she stated that it was a great summary and demonstrated a great usage of language!! How fun :) I didn't think it would be bad or anything--it's just nice when I get absolutely no corrections :)

I have also prayed for peace regarding several transitions that have occurred at work. We are also getting accredited for Sanctuary, which is known throughout Pennsylvania, but I don't know how many other states features it. Sanctuary is all about the language we use with therapy, and it centers on trauma and how when we do therapy, we should use this basic premise--"It's not what's wrong with us, it's what's happened to us." It encourages us to empathize with our clients and meet them where they are, not pushing them to be where they should be. It also helps us encourage our workmates and find ways to take care of ourselves. In the interest of Sanctuary, we started a CARES (Colleagues Assist Reassure Encourage Sanctuary) Committee, in which we encourage our staff when they have been in difficult situations (restraints/spat on/hit) with clients, if they are having personal problems, and/or just need a word of encouragement. My supervisor thought of me for this committee, and I love it!! In a period of 3 months, we have encouraged at least 25 people. Guess what--I also sneak God in there! It's not a Christian group, per se, but whenever I end the notes that I send, I write "God's peace and love," Through this committee, I am able to encourage, and it feels good.

Well, anyway, that's some of the things that have been going on in my life :) So much of my life is spent at work, and it touches my heart in a huge way, so that's why I thought I'd blog about the peace of God and how it helps me with work :)

Love to all!!

For Mamaw :)

Okay, so i am doing this for one person only--Mamaw :) I was on the phone with my beloved grandmother, and we talked about blogs and the fact that I had not posted in a long time. I mentioned that nobody looked at my blog by this point anymore, since I had not posted in forever, and she said, "Your grandmother does!" I then told her that I would post something. Here goes...I'm so out of practice... :)
Life is summed up with God, Bryan, family, friends, work, and church. Life is busy and crazy, but I love it. I think if I were not busy, I would not know how to handle it :) I am so used to being on the go that when I have too much free time, I go nuts! I like to laze every once in a while, but life is mostly about staying active.
Bryan and I are happy and love each other more with each passing year. We will have been married 7 years in August!! I am so blessed to have him in my life. I thank God for him everyday. We like to hang out with Bryan's family when we're in Pittsburgh, but we love getting to visit Arkansas to see my family. We will go to AR for Easter!! Yea!! Do we want children? Definitely. We're working on it :)
In the meantime, I don't blog much because I don't really have that much to blog about that I can't cover on facebook :0) I just wish everybody were on facebook--hint, hint, Deborah :)
Love you!! Hope to see you soon!!

Control

I am not in control. God is in control. This is hard for me sometimes. I just want to make things happen. When I have to depend on others, especially God, it's hard. I just want to do things and make them happen! That may be why I'm so impulsive. I want and I do. When I need I do. When I need and can't do, it's hard for me. Those who love me, please pray for me that I will do better with depending on God's help instead of being so impatient and just doing it for myself. Help me balance what I can control and what I can't.
Thanks for listening. :)

Fun day with Bryan!

So I'm not so sure about this job thing...^_^
No, really, I LOVE my job. Being a therapist is difficult, but it is amazing. I learn more and more everyday. I am so blessed to even have a job in this economy. I have a staff to work with that are amazing!

So what's the problem??

I want more time with my husband! I suppose it's not a problem so much as a blessing--it's good that I want to spend more time with him! Today, I thought about how much i love the time spent with him and wish I had more, although i know that if I didn't have a job, I would wonder if i could cut it as a therapist. At any rate, I am well on my way to achieving a nice type-E personality, which is what a woman who manages both a household and a job has. Psychologists decided that type-A didn't cover it.
So, about Bryan and my day...

It was great! We started off at the Strip District and immediately went to a farmer's market and tasted excellent honeycomb, bought swiss chard and a keera poona, which is an Indian cucumber, and then we went into a biscotti shop. We bought biscotti and pastries, and the pastries were made out of flaky bread, like croissants, and were filled with citrus and ricotta cheese. They were amazing!
After that, we bought coffee at my favorite coffee place, Fortune's Coffee (which I've blogged about before now.) We also went to Penn Mac and got parmigiana reggiana, which is much cheaper at the Strip than at Giant Eagle (yea!) and pasta.

After the strip, we went to the Southside, which has a lot of great shops. One of the shops is Joseph Brothers Books, which is like Barnes and Noble on steroids. Bryan was excited about this restaurant called Yo Rita about which he had heard, but it was closed, and we found out later that it didn't open until dinner. We went instead to Carson Street Deli, which has won several awards for its "sammitches" (Pittsburghese, thank you ver much.) One sandwich is about 10" and so we decided to split a Godfather and sides. Yummy! We were walking back to the car and found an ice cream shop and decided to partake. ^_^ Good call.

We finished the day at a friend's house, where we co-babysat. I love days like this where I can just hang out with Bryan and be glad he's my husband. I wish I could have more days like this. This is not my last "I love Bryan" post, by the way--our anniversary is coming up next month, so if i don't blog before then, I will blog about our 5th anniversary. how exciting!!

To all the couples out there, may you be as happy (unless you can be happier!) as we are ^_^
Love to all!

Life these days...

By the way, the first picture is of Bryan holding Bryan and my friend's daughter, Ellie. We did not have a kid while everybody's backs were turned. ^_^
So life is calmly insane. Life is calm because I am not in school, but insane because I'm looking for a job. I had an interview last week that went well, but I don't think I got it because I haven't heard back, and when I looked at the website, it said the position was filled. That's okay--every new interview is more practice for the next one. ^_^ Besides, that must just mean that I need another, more fitting job. We'll see. I have time to look for another one. ^_^
My family came to see me, and I had the best time with them. I was so touched that Mom, Kim, Jonas, and Dad came to see me for my graduation. I never expected them to be able to travel that far! We had a great time, though. Dad was there before graduation, and Mom, Kim, and Jonas stayed to play afterwards. I took them to the Strip District so we could go into all the good shops: coffee, chocolate, Mexican foods, etc. ^_^ I took them to Eat and Park, which is a fun PA chain where the cookies are always smiley. Jonas even has a shirt from Eat and Park now. He's so cute!
My mother-in-law made my cake for the party, and it was so sweet of her to do that. She threw me the party! We had a wonderful time, although an hour in it rained! We were so glad we had a pavilion. ^_^
These days, I'm having fun with friends while searching for jobs. I trust in God to provide, though. He always has in the past!
Love to ALL, K

Day with Dad! ^_^

Dad is in town for my graduation, and so today, we started off with breakfast at Country Kitchen, which, for all you Searcy people, is like Bobby's except bigger. ^_^It was great fun!! After that, we went to a nearby town called Volant, PA, which is a lot like Mountain View with an Amish twist ^_^, for those who know that place. There were homemade soaps, rugs, furniture, etc. We also went to this amazing place for lunch, where Dad had his first pierogies. We also had some amazing blackberry cobbler. We had a great time!! ^_^
Last night, we watched the Penguins game, at least some of it. Unfortunately they lost, but we still had fun cheering for them.
Tonight, we have dinner with some friends from church, so that will be fun.
I'm so happy to have him here!!
I'm also psyched because my Mom and sister will be here on Thursday. Yea!!! I can't wait to show Kim stuff I already showed Mom. I'll take Mom to a coupla new spots as well, though.
I'm SO ready to graduate!! I've had senioritis so bad especially these past few weeks. I have an interview coming up this week for another residential treatment facility, so keep your fingers crossed everybody!!!
Love to ALL. ^_^

Mom + Kristi + PA = FUN!!

Mom and I had the best time. Mom came to see me in Pittsburgh, and as soon as she got here, she picked me up in her rental car, and we went to the city. We walked up and down the Strip District, which is a great place to get really excellent and high quality meats, cheeses, and coffee. We walked into Fortune's Coffee and the smell was intoxicating! (I just don't understand non-coffee drinkers...) We got my favorite--Hawaiian Kona Blend, which is phenomenal. We also went to eat at Primanti Brothers, which is a classic Pittsburgh Sandwich shop. The story behind it is that railway workers would be on the trains all day, and then they would have a 5 minute stop at Primanti Brothers. Since there was no time to eat slowly, they ate sandwiches with the fries and cole slaw already on them, so that's how they are served there. I ordered mine without cole slaw, and my waiter, who was hilarious, said, "What do you think this is, Burger King??!" Mom and I laughed.
Also, Mom noticed that there were signs on the menu saying that the Philly Cheesesteak was the 2nd most popular item. When she asked our waiter what the 1st was, he said, "Beer." ^_^ Mom decided she'd go with the second...
Later that day, Mom bought me clothes!! That's ALWAYS fun. Hey mom, when are you coming back? ^_^
Mom and I also went to Reyna's, which on Saturdays, makes fresh tortillas. Since it was Saturday, we bought fresh ones and salsa to go with, and they were great!! So light and buttery. ^_^ It was a great time had at the Strip District. ^_^
The next day, Mom and I went to church together. She said she liked all my friends and church family, and she enjoyed our preacher's sermon. It's always great to have people that are special to you meet others that are special to you as well. It's strange to have people that are so close to me not know each other, but that's what happens when you move away!
Later that day, we went to Duquesne for a Grad Fair--the reason she was in Pittsburgh in the first place, although she says it was really to see me. ^_^ It was enjoyable. We sat at the Harding-displayed table, discussed the Harding Pharmacy program with students and faculty, and just had a marvelous time.
That night, we went out with Bryan's mom and brother for dessert. Late birthday celebration for me, so that was fun. ^_^
Monday wrapped up Mom's trip with going to lunch at Olive Garden. What a sweet treat!!
I love you SO much Mom and am SO glad you were here with me!!! Love you!!!

Compartmentalizing...

Okay, so I essentially have 4 lives. I try to think of myself as one person, but it gets too confusing and a tad overwhelming, so I compartmentalize, and it helps. One of my lives is at home with Bryan, which is only about 2 hours awake and 7 sleeping. Another is at church, which used to be 3 hours a week: 2 on Sunday and one on Wednesday, but I had to give my hour on Wednesday to my 3rd life: school. I spend 5 hours in school, but that is only because I have not gotten homework yet. I will soon have to dedicate more time to school, but as I said before, I am trying to de-whelm myself. If that was not a word before, it is now.
My fourth life is my internship, where I live Monday-Friday from 10AM-6 or 8 PM, depending on activities that occur at the RTF. When I am not currently in this compartment, it is easy to throw myself into my fifth life, which I forgot to add before because I have 2 days for it--MAX--my fun time! Don't get me wrong--I have fun at my internship, school, church, and definitely at home with Bryan. I am, however, one small person and tend to get overwhelmed!!
Don't worry--I am not developing multiple personality disorder--I simply must organize the facets of my life so I know what goes where.
Life is great. Nothing's perfect--things can always get better--but God has blessed me with these compartments. He's given me what I can handle for the time being.
I should thank Him for that more...^_^
Love to all!! Enjoy the Superbowl and gooooooooo STILLERS!!!!!!
(I did not spell that wrong--that's Pittsburgh pronunciation...)

Update ^_^

Okay, so life is kind of on pause for me right now. This is a picture of me and Bryan at "Cranksgiving", our small church group's Christmas/Thanksgiving that we had at my friend's house. It was great!! We have a small group that lives in Cranberry, and we hang out together for stuff like game nights, random dinners, Bible studies, etc. It's great!! I love these people so much. They're a blast.
Anyway, so life. I start my internship next week. Whee-hoo!! I'm excited. I'm ready to get going because I've been at the house or my friend's house, catching up on stuff like housework, baby-sitting (throwing my friend's kids around, in the air, etc.) and just enjoying the calm before the storm. I will be insanely busy this semester, doing my internship and taking (thank goodness) only one class. I will be at my internship every day except Saturday and Sunday, when I will be studying for Substance Abuse.
My husband is busy with work, doing new projects all the time, creating new recipes, etc. He came home last night to an insanely clean house--whee-hoo!!! I worked hard!!--and rewarded me by cooking pasta with shrimp and mussels. They were perfectly fresh and were amazing. I'm so glad I married a chef! He got a new cookbook for Christmas and has been poring over it, learning new techniques and gathering new ideas.
I am currently in the middle of 4 books, a couple of which I started a month ago. I'm reading "Memoirs of a Geisha", "Duma Key"--Stephen King, "Case for Christ"--Lee Strobel, and "Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister"--Gregory Maguire. The last is a recounting of Cinderella, told in a different light. I have never felt sorry for the ugly stepmother and stepsisters before, but I do reading this! Anyway, I must finish them this weekend before I have to start reading real stuff again and studying for tests. Yeesh!
Done for now. Love to all!!! ^_^

A Celebration of Papaw's Life

Wow, what a man. What a testimony we had yesterday at the funeral! So many people were there. I am so glad for Mamaw that her friends were there to comfort her. She and Papaw are so loved by so many people. We saw that yesterday, as we have in the past. It was a true testimony to Papaw's character, how many people were there. People were there to comfort the rest of us as well.
Funerals are weird things. We cry because we are left behind to regret the loss of the lives who touched so many people, and yet we also celebrate the lives of the people who have gone on to a better place. Papaw is in heaven now, smiling down on us, and he is probably having a conversation with Peter the apostle. Knowing both men, though, they aren't saying much--they're just fishing. ^_^ Both were men of action, not words. When they spoke, though, their words had effect. I am sad for our loss. I am relieved that Papaw no longer has to deal with the pitfalls of cancer, though, and that the only bag he has to deal with is a bag of potato chips as he watches the Cardinals win. I think they win in heaven...
I'd like to add a special note about how wonderful it was to see the cousins. We had not been all together for 13 years. That is a LONG TIME. I grew up hanging around them, and so the one thing i don't like about Pittsburgh is that it's so far away from family. I'm grateful that we had a picture taken of all 12 of us.
Love to all!

So what, are they TRYING to give me a heart attack at 26?

Who are they? My Steelers! I watched, biting my nails, for the past 2 weeks as the Steelers beat the Cowboys and the Ravens, both within the last 2 minutes. It was CRAZY. I love my team, but I get such a work-out when I watch the games. I had to apologize last week and last night to a 2-year old who I scared when I jumped off the couch and went "Aaarrrggghhhhh!!!!!!!" When I had calmed down, I looked lovingly at Ben and said, "Hi sweetie...." and kissed him until he started giggling. Thank goodness that 2-year-olds forgive easily! I've only watched a couple of games with the Almarez family, 4 of the newest members at our church. Ben is getting used to me getting excited/aggravated/berserk(?) for the games, but he still doesn't like it. As long as I apologize within a few seconds, though, I'm forgiven. Yea. ^_^
You may remember, I was never a football fan, especially to this degree. I knew that people threw a ball and that they got all excited when they ended up on either extreme end. I became familiar with a team getting 6 points after doing so, and then sometimes they would kick it between the metal things for one more point, or they'd run it in for two.
Don't get me wrong--my football knowledge is still pretty lousy, but I no longer look confused when a player gets down on one knee after catching the ball in the endzone. I've learned what field goals are--especially after last night when 5 such field goals were stressing me out to where I no longer have white on the ends of my fingernails. If the game had ended last night 9-6 Ravens because of 5 field goals, I would have cried.
From whence does my newly found passion come? I married a Pittsburgher. Pittsburghers are passionate about 2 sports: hockey--Go PENS! and football--go STEELERS!!! Pittsburghers go watch Pirates games too, but mainly because it's a nice Sunday afternoon activity. Steeler games and Penguin games are just exciting. (Although there was an awesome Pirates game that I went to with my church last summer where we won in the extra innings, but that's another story.) At any rate, when in Pittsburgh, do as the Pittsburghers do. ^_^
So what? I can live in Pittsburgh and not be a Steeler fan. I couldn't say it out loud, but I don't have to be a fan. It's fun, though! Palomalu, my favorite Steeler, tackled one of the Ravens by tripping him, and the Raven flew through the air. It was a great play! It's fun to watch Roethlisberger sail the ball down the field to a ready teammates hands for the perfect touchdown. Besides, I was a cheerleader in high school, and this is a great outlet for my inner cheerleader! It's normal to shout at the TV for a game, in a matter of speaking...^_^ (Hmmm, why do I love to play Taboo and Cranium so much? You get to SHOUT.) ^_^
So now you know. ^_^ Love to all!

They say that catching up...is...hard to do-o!

...but I'm getting there!!! I was gone from school for a week and missed quizzes, notes, etc. Don't get me wrong, I would not take that week back for anything, but it is difficult to catch up. I also came back to practicum and had a MOUNTAIN of paperwork to do!! It's all good. Why? I'm Superkristi!! Well, not really, but I was able to catch up. ^_^
Also, this is my first free weekend in ONE MONTH. I am psyched!! Those who know me know that I love people and would much rather be in a room surrounded by people than being at home, by myself, ALONE. I can be alone for a time, but then I have the biggest urge to be with others just to hear them speak. Not this weekend. I am going to work on 4 papers in utter solitude, with occasional breaks every once in a while so I'm not driven mad. I don't like to be alone too much, but this will be a good weekend for the cause--school!!
I must say, though, that part of catching up is getting me into the Christmas spirit. At first, I was not ready to hear Christmas music because it was reminding me of all the catching up to do and all the stuff that needs done beforehand. This monrning, though, I was in the grocery store and looked up at a TV just in time to see my favorite scene from "White Christmas"--where Danny Kaye and (what's her name--Mom, you know!!) dance together for the first time. I love that song!! They are so graceful. When I see that movie for the first time, I know it's time for Christmas!! What a special movie.
Thanksgiving will be spent this year with Bryan's family. 2 of the family members are vegetarians, so we will be eating some stuff without meat, but I am excited about this Vegetable Gratin recipe that I found in a magazine. I'm dying to try it out because it looks wonderful, has Asiago cheese and polenta in it, which is a type of grainy starch, and Bryan loves polenta. Here's hoping I do it justice! At any rate, it will be a good time had by all.
Pictures to come...^_^
Love to all!!

God is not a crutch!

He is so much more than that! God gets us through everything. I'm reading this book, "Darkness is my Only Companion," which is about the struggle of a woman with Bipolar Disorder. Anyone who knows about Bipolar Disorder knows that this struggle is intense. It's not just the transition from manic--excessive energy, irritability, lack of ability to sleep, to depressive--lack of energy, feeling pain. The pills people have to take make it difficult, going through the symptoms. I am so grateful for these people who have improved upon the medication that people with Bipolar Disorder have to take, and yet it is still far from easy. Although I do not know this personally, I feel with this woman in her book, and I encourage counselors, therapists, and people with Bipolar Disorder to read this book.
Why is the title of this blog "God is not a crutch!"? So many people that don't understand Christianity think of God that way. God is love that people do not understand, which is one of the reasons He is so beautiful. Any difficulty I have in my life can be maintained, even if it ends in death, because that is not the final end. I want people to know that God is there.
This book is also important, though, because the author, Kathryn Greene-McCreight, is candid about her thoughts and feelings toward those "comforting" Bible verses. Although they are comforting, pain does not go away just because you understand pain. I used to think you could explain away anything, but I was naive. I am less naive now, after experiencing other people's suffering. I still have a lot to learn, but I do know that anything difficult I have or will experienced would be a million times worse without the presence of God in my life. I know that not everybody will read and believe in God, but He extends His love to all who will take it. Thank you, God for loving me, wrapping your arms around me, and giving me hope that I will be with you someday. In the meantime, I am here to do your work and encourage others, hopefully bringing them to you as well.

The Mom and I...and custard pie

Mom has been the dutiful daughter, taking care of Mamaw and Papaw wherever she can, teaching 2 classes, taking care of me while I'm here, doing her job--basically, she's superwoman. ^_^ I've been having fun with her.
The other day, she asked me what we should get for dinner, and I immediately said "Chicken Pot Pie!!" knowing that she would have enough crust left over for our little custard pie, as well. Yummy!!! So that's what we did.
I wanted to put a picture up of us smiling, but we were against a yellow wall, so we look a tad jaundiced. Oh, well. Here's a cute picture of her on the phone as well. ^_^ She's talking to my brother. What a great Mom!!!

I'm home!

It is so good to be here. I know I'm here because of a deeply sad event, Papaw and his cancer, but I must say that I am so relieved to see my family. I have gotten my family cup filled already, and it's only MONDAY. I still have one week to fit in as much family as I can. So far I've seen Mom, Aunt Donna, Mamaw, Papaw, Kreg, Keleigh, Tara, I finally got to meet Peter, and I get to see Rachel, Casey, and Abby tomorrow. Yea!
On the down side, a difficult thing is to see Papaw's face. He is in pain, and I wish I could take it away. He is no longer on a morphine drip--they give him morphine orally and in liquid form, when he asks for it. Earlier today, the nurse asked him on a scale from 1-10 where his pain was, and he said 5-6. Tara and I decided that a 5-6 for him is about a 9-10 for most people. We can't take away his pain like we wish, but we can make him smile, on occasion. He has the best smile, just the way Great-Grandma Curtis used to. Laura Reeder came over and made him smile today, and I just had to put this picture up.
I'm missing school for a coupla days too, so I'm working on a paper while I'm here too, but I'm definitely not skipping out on family to do that. The less I soak them up while I'm here, the more I have to miss them until I come home again in May!! Dumb airline prices.
So here I am, soaking up as much Curtis clan as possible. I love us so much!! One of my favorite parts of this time was being able to sing with Aunt Donna and Mom 2 days in a row: fun songs with Mom while she was on the piano on Saturday night, and great church songs the next day at church. We even sang "Victory In Jesus" at night church. That was special. Here's to a great man and a great woman who got together, not knowing that they would raise 4 God-fearing children, 12 God-fearing grandchildren, and 13 (some on the way) great-grandchildren! ^_^ What a crew.